My apologies for the foul language, but some things just have to be told like they are… injuries suck. It has been FOREVER since I have written, followed up with the business end of things, and truly enjoyed all of the joys of being physically fit.

I suppose never in my life have I ever really been “injured”. I know weird. Don’t get me wrong I’ve had a broken leg in 6th grade. A broken hand in 12th. A pulled hamstring on numerous occasions on the soccer field, but honestly — none of these injuries have ever compared to the shear frustration of a “unknown” injury that hurts your “lady parts”. For you men out there, I’m talking about your groin.

Yes, you read that correctly – and it totally sucks! As magical as having children is, pregnancy and childbirth is no joke. From 4 months in, it was pain. I couldn’t have been happier to give birth and not be pregnant. I thought then the pain would be over and I would be hitting the pavement back to my old self… I couldn’t have been more WRONG. For a full year, I gave everything I had to motherhood. I fulfilled the middle of the night feedings, nursing on the regular and doing everything possible to grow our healthy amazing little boy. By one year I decided I was ready to get back to me.. or the new me, whatever that was. I was soon to find out.

Three months into my running return. I remember distinctly, the Berry loop — 4 miles in; my calf was BURNING, but I was stubborn, insistent as a matter of fact. After all I had run a half marathon 8 months prior with minimal effort. But I couldn’t help but know something was wrong. A shooting ache and pain from hip to calf. But it would go away…If I just kept running.

Looking back I never considered the impact those crazy long 10 months and the 17 hour labor had my body. And yes of course there is the slight chance that the pregnancy and the delivery had nothing to do with it, but ladies, let all agree we know our bodies and we know the exact moment when it all changed.

So here I am 6 months in to this fantastic injury — yes, that is sarcasm there and my ass hurts on the daily. For real, who’s butt hurts — daily?! It is seriously the worst. The most perfect burn, ache and pain right across the right glute — awesomeness. For the first three months I was determined to run through the pain. Isn’t that what we do? It goes away. You pop some ibuprofen and move on with life. What happens when that doesn’t work anymore?

For those three months I trying to keep up with the ladies but I continued to fail. Finally I gave in. I sought help. Not once but twice. Did it help…sure — slowly. But help what? This SLOW long journey is unimaginably irritating, frustrating and in some ways so super depressing. Don’t get me wrong, I have been blessed to be surrounded by some great patient women and therapist but… well freedom is calling. It’s like I can smell the fresh air, the race energy and feel the runners high and am yearning to get there.

I never imagined being injured would be so much work. The constant stretching, rolling, lifting, appointments. All squeezed in to an already full mom schedule. Try rolling on a softball with a two year old climbing on you. I am sure the sight is one that could win on Americas Funniest Home videos. Let me tell you just how amazing it feels when said two year old jumps on you just as you hit “that” spot.

You surely become the odd lady in the corner office stretching with her foot up on the chair while typing away — very lady like I might add. A better sight, try sticking your hip out while you’re stretching at the copier – they make comedies about this! Seriously! This isn’t to mention what students must think when they walk into your office, only to see a bright orange roller that screams are you going to beat the he** out of me. Title, Crazy Professor going through withdraw beats student…

Being an athlete and a runner has been the greatest gift of my life. The shear freedom it allows me to have. The moments to clear my mind and simply be one with myself and nature is truly a gift. However, I sit here typing this absolutely FULL of frustration, I encourage you. Plead to you. Advise you. Listen to your body. Know your limits. Stretch and stretch often. Be patient and kind to yourself. Of all people I get it. Some days I think it is my soul purpose to see just how far and how much I can push my body, or at least I did.

From this moment on however, I will NEVER push through the pain. I will never overlook the absolute beauty that the body is able to provide, its ability to tell me when enough is enough. I never want to be back here. Being fit, free and active is a privilege, one I don’t think I can ever again take for granted.

Injuries are no joke. They suck and what sucks even more is losing control of the healing process and knowing it is one step at a time.

Run free. Run strong. Run well.

~ Carolyn

These that few weeks have been a whirl wind. I think that is putting is lightly. From the time I wake until the time I lie my head on the pillow, I think my mind spins, with only the ability to focus on what is right in front of me. I’m not sure if that is a blessing or a curse but somehow some way we make it through to the next day.

When I say that last few weeks, I might as well say that last 19 months. Some people might take on this motherhoods think with the ease of getting dressed every morning. I however feel, that I consistently have to work at it and by work, I mean WORK and struggle at it. At the moment of writing this I had to bribe my 6 year old, yes, I bribed her, with the opportunity to watch a UTube Kids, just so I could have a few moments of calm.

Now might I add that my day started at 530 is the morning with this same said 6 year old, vomiting uncontrollably and our 19 month old appearing to be coughing up everything and anything that might be in his chest. Needless to say, church as a big NO, and we have been cooped up inside for what feels like an eternity.

Most days this would make me go subtly crazy. Overwhelmed to say the least, however in the moment, life is… just what it is.

What was different about today? I just didn’t care. My normals quiet time, gone. In its place were back rubs and snuggles. Our laundry continues to be in mounds (yes, I failed to mention, our new machine picked today of all days not to work) and my trip to the gym will have to wait until tomorrow.

Today, I will steal away small little moments for myself. I will feel the ping of my Apple Watch when it says to breath. Lavender will be my friend. I will bask in the sunshine brightly coming through the windows, warm and strong — a sign of days to come.

I will live through the moment as a chance to just be. To do nothing except tend to the needs of the little humans that need me. As we get through today, with sick bellies and runny noses, we know that one day these days will end. One day these amazing humans will not need me, us or anyone for that matter and all there will be is calm. For now, we will steal this moments, short as they might be because calm comes from within.

I write this unknowing what the final outcome will be, but I write it anyway. This is straight up, unedited thoughts of the gift of having more.

I heard this statement while driving into work this morning. I don’t know about you but I was never, have never and probably will never be a sales person. Money just doesn’t entice me. Don’t get me wrong, I get that we NEED money and yes it is totally fun to get new stuff or do fun things but I have never had that umph to get out there and sell anything?! For years now it has been extremely hard to focus on the idea of a profit when you run a business. I assume this is why for the last 10 years I have worked for someone else, providing care for those in need and enjoying every moment of it, truly.

Now here we are, several years later and as a mom, wife and women with a strict type “A” personality I needed a new challenge. Well what do you know, that challenge is coming to grips with the fact that I have and run my own business and with that am required to make an income to support my family. That’s a novel idea, but truthfully, a very hard pill for me to swallow.

Having always been an athlete, I spent the majority of my days in the gym, wearing fitness clothes rocking the world of tom boy sort of speak. Fast forward, and now I chuckle because my husband and I have created one of the most head strong “girly girls” I have ever met who loves nothing more then a tu-tu, ballet, make-up, pink and everything girl. Ok, highly irrelevant to current conversation or maybe not so seems my business is surrounded by the idea of fitness and health, but moving on.

As a practicing Christian, I am hard core into the act of giving. We in our household emphasis kindness, and leading by example. So when I entered into the world of business from my passionate world of healthcare to explore a long awaited passion and dream it was unnerving to me to ask for money for my services. I just couldn’t help but think that that broke all of the core values that have been deeply engraved into my being.

This internal struggle has been a work in progress. Over much listening to Dave Ramsey, the business boutique and my girl Rachel Hollis, I have gradually been able to crawl out of my shell, if not at least stick my head out.

That was until today. Today something finally clicked. I chuckle in writing this as, I have heard this phrase over and over and over again, “The more you have, the more you can give…” Then why are we so ashamed at having and wanting more to give away?!

At one time I used to think this was the most selfish statement in the world. As a mother, women and just simply a member of society it was embedded that if you took care of yourself or wanted “more” you were selfish.

I remember in my younger years, having spent so much time in the gym, running races and just being overall active, many people telling me that I was, “into myself for doing these things”. I remember how these words impacted my confidence. I remember clearly not wanting to tell anyone or go with anyone to any of these things because I didn’t want to be any of the names they were calling me.

As a mom, I can’t help but remember the feeling of hearing people talk about “those parents” that would go away without their children, travel or go for a night out and have a sitter or family watch the kids. I distinctly remember hearing people state, “I don’t know how they can do that” or “what kind of parents are they”?

So podcasts, yes the point of this post. The pod cast was talking about money and the discomforts that some folks such as myself have with it. Seeking more has always been uncomfortable for me unless I was doing it for someone else sort of speak.

Today it dawned on me. I give on a DAILY basis. There is never a time where I do not think, let me get that persons coffee, let me pay that toll, let me… you name it. Even when I only have $5.00 left in my budget for the the week, I will often use some of it for something for someone else. This has been embedded in me through the spirit of giving. Then it hit me, if I had more, then I could give that much more. What a novel idea?! The podcast, went on to talk about the people who anonymously pay off layaways on the holidays, or donate cares for charity. Wouldn’t this be great! It was like a light went off! Then I begin to think, how does this relate to everything I do everyday.

I speak this language, every day as I encourage women and mothers to get out of the background with their health. I mean honestly, this exact statement has been what I have spent the last year working on through dedicated self-care and personal growth?!

FILL your own cup first!

I have always used the analogy of the air plane with the oxygen, but I think for now, I’m going to find solace in,

“The more you have, the more you have to give”.

HYDRATION: With the holidays fast approaching it is only appropriate to focus on something that not only can distract you but also has the ability to give you more energy, beautiful skin and fight infection. .

Consider, your body is made up of 65% water – this is simply amazing. You’re skin, your blood, your eyes, your gut EVERYTHING functions with the presence of water.

I want you to consider what a raisin looks like. Now, a grape. These items are the exact same food source however their hydration status is significantly different, this exemplifies the cells of your body.  The grape is fully hydrated, bountiful, sweet and juicy. The raisin while still sweet, is sticky, ugly and not very appealing in comparison. While this comparison might seem somewhat extreme, it its the truth in its entirety, in a simplified version.

Water plays a vital role, in digestion, aiding in the absorption of nutrition in the stomach, flushing out all the extra additives, preservatives and gunk that we ingest on a daily basis preventing sludge from building up. Have bloat? Drink a glass of water; Sounds backwards but yes, it will in fact help. Fatigue can often be a result of dehydration and the build up of toxins that are not being filtered by your kidneys and being cycled back into your blood supply (your pipes I like to call them).

Those of you who want to lose weight, HERE YOU GO! Proper hydrations is one of the very first steps in improving your metabolism and getting your body in the right direction. While it always feels nice to lose that first five pounds on a “traditional” and “fad” diet, most of that weight is water and it comes right back as soon as you get your body back into a state of hydration.

Looking to improve your fitness performance, drink water. Athletes with even the slightest bit of dehydration will experience a decrease in their overall performance. 

As we move into the cooler months, hydration is just as important, if not more important then during the blazing heat of summer. During the cool months, you are not triggered to consume as much fluid as you are during the warmer months of the year. During these cooler months you likely workout indoors where you lose fluid through sweating just as you do any other time during the year. You breathe dry air. While this might seem minor, breathing dry air can dry out the nasal passages allowing bacteria and virus to collect, allowing for microscopic cracks in the skin surface and likely leaving you exposed to illness. 

Goals to aim for:

Check your urine. Yes your read this right. Your urine is the primal indicator of hydration and just how well your kidneys are functioning. Use the chart below… Falling out of a healthy range… Drink Up! 

Try these ideas to monitor your schedule, make infused water and more: 

• 10 Ways to make you water taste better.
• Schedule your drinking — Glass water bottle
• Chia Infused Water

I am always weirdly proud when I pee clear, like H#!! yeah, I’m so freak’n hydrated — Unknown