I’m Vulnerable, and Thats ok.

 

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I remember the first day, I stepped out of the house with no make up on. My second born was just barely 4 weeks old. The summer sun was hot and I was doing my best to keep my *&it together. My five year old was thriving for my attention, and by thriving, I’m putting it kindly. I truly don’t remember where we were going but I remember the struggle and I remember my “I don’t give F**%” attitude”. I’m pretty sure I still had my maternity yoga pants on and some baggy tank top- but I simply didn’t care. I was clothed the kids were clean and lets face it life will in fact go on. When I reflect back, there is something so freeing about that memory.

At what point did we allow the world out there, to dictate what happens in here. Ok, yes I know there are some of you that say, “Nope not me”, but I’m sure there are more like myself who was letting myself be guided about what I thought my blue print should be instead of what felt right in my heart. I was creating FAR more stress for myself — inadvertently impacting my health both physically and mentally.

Since this moment of recognition, and several weeks after I put myself to work and started to reflect inward. What is it that I was passionate about? What drives me? Who matters? What matter? What are MY life goals? Who do I, yes I, sorry I have to emphasize it, “I” want to be. I say this because, I like so many other was and still sometimes find myself falling into the mold of what and how society says I should be. As social beings we WANT to fit in!

Now don’t get me wrong this hasn’t been an easy road and some days I catch myself and need to reel it back in but it has gotten so much easier. I am  also grateful to report,  I am SOOOO much happier because of it. Even if it took me many years, tears and frustrations to get here. It is so worth it.

Something I have learned (quite possibly I am the last to know), is that humans flourishimages as social beings. We are truly losing this with our busy schedules, social media and our own expectations. Being around others and sharing in love is what brings true, authentic happiness. Its not things, or money. It is love, compassion and kindness. Did you know we can reduce the incidence of depression and anxiety through random acts of kindness?? Food for thought.

When I talk about health, nutrition and fitness, for myself as not only a holistic professional but also a professional who practices western medicine it is so so important to get to the being- the person on the inside. If one never gets to the root of the problem– they can never reap the rewards of overcoming it. Now, of course this is not an easy process for some, myself included. You mean to tell me I am not perfect. Ha. I can happily say, I am so far from it and am totally ok with that — now. However the process to get there has not been an easy one. I have had to be vulnerable, and…

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

We all like to say, “I don’t care what people think”. I’m sorry to be there barer of bad news, but most of us do. When people love us and are kind, we flourish. When we feel unsuccessful or rejected we sink. This is the same for our children as well. Something I work hard to practice with own. I remember distinctly when I as a teen playing soccer in high school, I was on top of the world. I started in every game and had the motivation to do better. I went to college and all that faded. I sat the bench, watched others I had played with before rise and I lost all my desire. I later quit because I lost my momentum and couldn’t get my head back in the game. Your mental state is everything.

IMG_3229Whatever it is for you practice allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Being your true authentic self allows you to live life to the fullest. Its a breath of fresh air. It is OK to be you. Does someone else opinion of you really matter if you are being TRUE to yourself??As I start every day, I praise the higher power for at least three things I am grateful for before my feet even hit the floor. I start my day with a grateful heart. You would be amazed how over time you can change your days. My house is not perfect, as a matter of fact as I write this it is a mess. My fitness is a work in progress. My marriage has multiple ups and downs. Lets face it life crazy, but I feel blessed for every piece of it!

Most importantly what I have learned about being authentic, is you WILL be ok. People really WILL love you for you. As a matter of fact, they will like and appreciate you more. YOU will love you and it is from here you will find success. As I have practiced this over the last year, I have reconnected with more old friends. I have been able to show kindness is the most random and unpredicted places. I have seen more smiles on friends and strangers faces from simple random acts of kindness and a full heart. My heart smiles in this because, it is that for which I am. Peace be with you.

Carolyn

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4 thoughts on “I’m Vulnerable, and Thats ok.

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  1. Great post and blog !!! I’m 40yo and i’ve been doing bodybuilding/fitness at a high level for many year but i stoped and in the last 2-3 years….i had a huge decline . i can really find my self in some of your articles ! huuuge like for your blog ! i will reblog some of the posts also bcoz they are too interesting and i’m sure they can help many people !!!

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    1. Alex, thank you! I am so glad you are able the experiences written are able to help others; in a world of “perfection” it is so important to myself to demonstrate authenticity and imperfections while still being strong and confident! Thank you for sharing and I hope you continue to follow along! Best wishes to you! Carolyn

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Nice to meet you Carolyn ! I also shared ur posts into the social media..mines so you will became visible/followed and have a faster rate of success . you do have a great blog and very very interesting posts here ! will defenetly folow on ur future articles ! thank you for sharing them P.S. i also left the browsers open more so that ur ads will load completely and you get more $ from ads . i hope it will help 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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